sighs..

this thing, is just going too overbroad. its going to the max, its not stopping. i don't get it. why is all this happening to me. why the heck is it repeating and repeating. i feel so sad and uncomfortable. it may not be hard for you, but it is very hard for me. i cannot continue smiling like this. in fact i cannot continue going on like this. i dont know who to put the blame on. but i know i shouldnt put it on anyone. but its just too unfair and hard for me. i may be going through lots of difficulties but how about you? will this affect my studies? will this take over my whole brain? will i ever stop thinking about this? why won't this stop? am i wrong? am i thinking too much? maybe i am but..i dont like the feeling im having now. im so sick of this. im so bored of all this matters. i just want to run away from this, i rather not solve it. even if its solved i know its gonna happen again. so why solving it. no point. im running away this time. im giving up. ive never had this feeling before. maybe i just can't take it. what a week!

-ali-